There are thousands of books that try to teach people how to be good at sex. Don't waste your money, they all suffer from a single flaw. Instead, just read this blog post. It contains all you need to know about how to be great at sex.
Those books are not worth it for a single reason - human beings are not clones. We are all different from each other. Not a little bit, a HUGE amount. Some like being dominant, some like being submissive, some like things fast and rough, some like it slow and sensual. Some like to play dress up, some like it in the dark. People like butts, navels, breasts, elbows, necks, lips, and even toes.
It doesn't matter if you are the best toe sucker in the universe if your mate doesn't like having their toes sucked. Worse there are too many different skills to learn, no one can learn everything, and more importantly, you can't just look at someone and know which skill to use.
Trust me, you can't just assume that your next lover wants the same thing as your last, even if you happen to be particularly good at oral. There are people that don't like receiving oral, and it is your fault for doing it without asking first.
All of this means that it is not your responsibility to get your partner off the first time. At least not until you have been with them for quite some time. Years even. This goes for men as well as woman. If anyone fakes an orgasm, it's their own fault, not an insult to their partner.
Instead, the secret to being good at sex is just three simple rules:
Numbers 2 and 3 are both about communication. It doesn't have to be verbal. Some people can do it with non-verbal signals. But talking works fine. Whether it is explicit, raunchy dirty talk, or simply using "Green", "Yellow", and "Red" to indicate "YES", "Almost good", and "Don't bother". Some people prefer an emailed 'after action report'.
If you and your partner use these three secrets, then in a very short time your partner will think you are Great At Sex. If you don't do this, it will takes years of patient observation (if ever), to learn how to get your partner off.
Those books are not worth it for a single reason - human beings are not clones. We are all different from each other. Not a little bit, a HUGE amount. Some like being dominant, some like being submissive, some like things fast and rough, some like it slow and sensual. Some like to play dress up, some like it in the dark. People like butts, navels, breasts, elbows, necks, lips, and even toes.
It doesn't matter if you are the best toe sucker in the universe if your mate doesn't like having their toes sucked. Worse there are too many different skills to learn, no one can learn everything, and more importantly, you can't just look at someone and know which skill to use.
Trust me, you can't just assume that your next lover wants the same thing as your last, even if you happen to be particularly good at oral. There are people that don't like receiving oral, and it is your fault for doing it without asking first.
All of this means that it is not your responsibility to get your partner off the first time. At least not until you have been with them for quite some time. Years even. This goes for men as well as woman. If anyone fakes an orgasm, it's their own fault, not an insult to their partner.
Instead, the secret to being good at sex is just three simple rules:
- Know what makes you orgasm.
- Know how to get your partner to do what makes you orgasm.
- Know how to get your partner to tell you what makes them orgasm.
Numbers 2 and 3 are both about communication. It doesn't have to be verbal. Some people can do it with non-verbal signals. But talking works fine. Whether it is explicit, raunchy dirty talk, or simply using "Green", "Yellow", and "Red" to indicate "YES", "Almost good", and "Don't bother". Some people prefer an emailed 'after action report'.
If you and your partner use these three secrets, then in a very short time your partner will think you are Great At Sex. If you don't do this, it will takes years of patient observation (if ever), to learn how to get your partner off.
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