Friday, September 28, 2012

Fantasy vs Reality

Every intelligent Fantasy Geek eventually realizes that fantasy stories, while fun to read, would be hellish to actually live through.  It's not just the danger, or the hardships, it's also all the stuff no one talks about - like eating crappy food, sleaping on hard ground, the lack of bathrooms, etc. etc.

Sci-Fi stories at least can take advantage of modern 'luxuries' that most of us really consider necessities. (When was the last time you caught your own food?)

Not so with Fantasy stories.   Read about Gollum sure?  But actually travel with him? I'd have to be crazier than, well, Gollum!

What most people don't realize is the same rule applies to all our fantasies - even the romantic ones.

The classic guy dating fantasy is two (or more - if you are particularly greedy) women.   In reality, it is far more trouble than it is worth, except of course for the bragging rights.

The classic gal dating fantasy is to marry wealth.  But wealthy husbands usually spend too much time at the office.   Most people prefer a husband that they see more often than their next door neighbor.   

They are fantasies because most of us don't actually have the experience.  Just like fantasy novels, we concentrate on the relatively rare good parts, ignoring the practical realities that make it not worth our time. 

If we don't know what we truly want, then the chance of us being happy is almost nothing.

Now there's nothing wrong with a good fantasy.  As long as your understand that's what it is.   When making your choices in real life, your goals should not be the same as in your fantasy life.  

That doesn't mean you can't try for your fantasies - but you need to solidly think about the consequences first.  That way you can make adjustments to get what you want without screwing yourself out of what you actually need.

At the very least, it may simply mean you will complain less about your wealthy spouse spendings half their time out of state and/or with the third wheel in your menage-a-trois.

But if you are like most people, it will more likely mean you accept something related to but not exactly like your fantasy. Maybe you will date/marry someone making only as much as the President does - but who works only 25 hours a week.   Or maybe you will date/marry someone that is monogamous but role plays a threesome.