Friday, June 17, 2016

Rule about not dating people from...

Every once in a while I will run into someone that has a rule about not dating people from X.

Sometimes X = work, other times it is a major hobby - such as dance.

I disrespect these people on so many levels.

First of all, it indicates they are immature.  They can't handle a break up like an adult.   I've had bad break ups before, but never something I couldn't handle.  If you are the kind of person that treats someone like that you have far more serious issues.  Worse, if you can't tell that your date is someone like that - and stop it after one date - then your judgement is so bad you will never date right.  More importantly, Tango at least has more than enough venues that you can both dance and never see each other. 

Worse, a lot of people join their hobby in part to get a date.   Normal people want someone that shares an interest.  Do you know how many unhappy couples desperately wish their significant other shared at least one of their interests?

If I had my way, I would ONLY date people from dance. Unfortunately the community is not big enough to do that, I have to widen my search. 

Work makes a little bit more sense - it's harder to change jobs than to change hobbies.   But even so, some people put so much of their life into work, that it is a ridiculous rule.  

Most importantly, it is about priorities.   When someone says they don't date people from X, they are putting X ahead of dating - and therefore ahead of marriage (assuming they want to end up marrying someone they dated).

Why would anyone want to date you if you aren't putting the date above all other considerations?   Would you marry someone that put work ahead of you?  That put dancing ahead of you?


Put Marriage - and therefore Dating first.   Get rid of rules about not dating people from....

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