First Dates

Getting the date is almost 100% shallow stuff.  How do they look.  What do they say in five minutes.  What clothing they wear.   If you have ever rejected someone that asked you out you have been shallow.  That's OK ladies, the same goes for every guy that has asked out a woman.  We pick who to ask out for based on almost the exact same methodology that you use to reject us.  So if you have ever asked out a woman based on how she looks, that was being shallow.

First dates are only a little bit better.   We are talking 80-90% shallow, depending on the people.  Oh, you go a little bit beyond the basics (job, how you spend your time), but from my experience, the gorgeous people (thin women with a nice face and hair, wealthy tall men) are always the people saying no to the second date, not the ones being rejected. 

The movie/TV myth of the bad date being a total jerk is just that - a myth.   Nine out of ten times, we reject people for not liking our favorite movie/music/pet, not because they asked the waiter out in front of you.

It took me a while to figure this out.   First by recognizing it within myself, then by seeing the same stuff happen with other people.   You see, I try to not be shallow.  I date less attractive women.  But I notice that I put up a lot with attractive women - things I would dump a less attracive women for in a minute.  I try to make excuses for still liking them, but they are excuses.  It's not just me, I see it with other guys and can easily see it with women dating men.  


Part of the problem is that we put our best foot forward.  We tell white lies and deceive out dates.  Did they forget to say they 4 kids?  Did they forget to mention they live with their parents?  Did they forget to say they are unemployed? 

Not to mention a whole bunch of stuff we don't know about ourselves.  Bossy people don't think they are bossy, they think everyone else is disobedient.  As such, they can't warn you they are bossy even if they were honest enough to admit it.

Even the second dates tends to be mostly shallow stuff.   Say 60-70% of dumped on the second date are on things that your mom/dad/sister would not think worth it.

It is not till the third date that we start getting into the real core reasons not to date someone.

Now, I don't think shallow = evil.  Everyone is entitled to being shallow.  But in general, we can all try to be a little bit less shallow.  In the long run, we will be happier.

So, before you dump a guy/gal on the first (or even second) date - ask yourself - if they had a ton of other good qualities would you still date them?  What if they were rich?  What if they were thinner?   If your answer is yes, then consider going on one more date and seeing if perhaps they do have a ton of good qualities you haven't learned about yet.