What we can learn from the villains.

How is it that good men and women have such a hard time finding someone while the bad men and women have it so easy.  The bad folk have several advantages that the good ones don't. 

1. Bad folk lie.
2. Bad folk don't care about a lot of the things that the good ones do (job, pets, possible future, etc.).  They are willing to do a one night stand and never see the other person again.  If you look nice, that's enough for them, and they can see your likes right away.
3. Bad folk are willing to take more chances.   They are not as afraid of being hurt, they just go for it.

 The first one can't really steal from them.   In many ways, this is their defining characteristic.  If we lie, we become the bad folk.

The second is less black-and-white.   While we don't want to start having one night stands, one of our issues is that we get too picky.   It is possible to overlook certain negative traits that we reject perfectly good people for.  Unemployed?  So we live on less money.  Allergic to their pet?  Get shots.  Plans to move?  Cancel the move or move with them.  But these are major issues, not little ones.   We still need to find out if we are a match, but we can be a bit more generous.   Look, every single person is single for a reason.   The person without any flaws is either married, incredibly unlucky, or lying through their teeth.   Because perfect people get picked first and get married early - BEFORE they perfect their perfection.  (That is, handsome, nice, doctors get married in medical school, before they become wealthy).

The last trait however is something we can really do.   No pain, no gain.  You want a big reward, you need to take a big chance.  All of us need to take our cue from the bad guys and be willing to take a few more chances with our hearts.   Put our selves out their and talk to more people, meet more people and give more people a chance.