How to treat your mate.

There are several games people (as mentioned earlier).  One that some play: "withholding sex".   In fact, the 'no sex before the x date' rule that some women use is simply the first move in the game of withholding.  One thing women need to know is that in general, 80% of men can be categorized into two types:

1.  The player.  If you try to withhold sex or delay sex with the player, he goes out and finds someone else
2. The lonely guy.   The lonely guy has gone months, or even YEARS without sex.   

Withholding sex just encourages the player to cheat on you and needlessly tortures the lonely guy.  It does not control either of them.   Yes, there are a few men that get enough sex to keep them begging, but has not learned to go without.  But he knows you are doing it and resents it.  It's kind of like cursing them out in public.  Yeah, you might win, but is it worth it? 

Men have similar games we play with women, among them is the classic pick-up artist move to 'half insult' the women.   Then there are the lies we say to cover up things we want to do but you don't want us to do.  No, we don't agree with you that they are bad, we just don't feel like arguing with you about them.  This includes things like watching sports when you want us to do other things, going to strip clubs, hanging out with the guys, drinking, watching porn, etc.  So instead of arguing, we lie.

None of these techniques are helpful.  They don't work, they just make things worse.

If you want to have a relationship, you have to base it on making each other feel GOOD, not bad.  If you ignore a problem, it gets worse.  Trying punish them will not work.

Any time you spend hurting your mate is time you spend hurting yourself.   If you truly want to hurt them, DUMP them.   It will do more damage to them and less you.   If you don't want to dump them, then don't hurt them.

Now, some of you are thinking, what if my date does something that is not quite bad enough to dump him?  Chances are you are fooling your self.  If your date is hitting you, cheating on you, using  you for money, etc. or in any way truly hurting you, then dump them.   They are not worth it.   The next level down is stuff that is very annoying, but not intentionally done to hurt you - such as forgetting your birthday, etc.  There again you have to decide if you can live with a guy that does those kind of things.  If you can't then no amount of punishment will fix it.  Beneath that level are mere annoyances, which you definitely should not dump someone over.  Instead you should try rewarding them for doing things right.

Immediate rewards work a lot better than any punishment - studies have proven this.  If you try to next relationship will benefit, but you are just screwing yourself to help them. 

Look for ways to reward your loved one , not to hurt them.  

Similarly, lying about what you are doing just makes the problem worse.  You need to tell the truth and hold your ground.   No "yes dear" when you mean "hell no but I will lie about it.".  If your activity really is beyond the pale for your mate, you need a new mate.  Otherwise, your relationship will flounder along, getting worse.   Your spouse should not expect you to obey them mindlessly, and you should never ever abandon the moral high ground by falsely 'admitting' that you think your activity is wrong or bad.  Doing this prevents the short term argument, but preserves the problem for the long term.